Spending quality couple time after having children

Contributed by Anne Chia, a mother of two

Parenting is a journey – learning from our children who we are and who we shape them to become.

The arrival of the first born brings much joy and excitement as well as jitters and anxiety to new parents. Many will agree that it is one of life’s most beautiful experiences but some become overwhelmed, and allow it to consume their entire being and neglect their marriage and relationship.

Becoming parents does not mean couples should pay less attention to each other. In fact, it is even more important to spend quality time together through sharing, listening, and engaging each other to keep that flame burning and stronger. It is also through this time, couples share needs and views of how they want to raise their children together. Communication is key to a happy marriage and family.

Quality time is undivided attention, regardless of duration, given to express love, care and respect, through listening to each other without judgement or criticism, giving words of encouragement and physical touch. When we spend time together, we actually give part of ourselves and our lives to each other.

Quality time can be just holding hands and taking a stroll in the neighbourhood park or by the beach, sharing events, feelings and thoughts of the day. It does not need to be a week holiday away from home. Some couples commit a weekly, fortnightly or monthly night out to have dinner or going to the movies with each other. Others make special effort to celebrate each other’s birthday and wedding anniversary or taking a weekend get-away.

Creating quality time is a priority and choice – conscious and with effort. Having a trusted support system is a great blessing. However, even without that, some adjustment and prioritization can still make that special moment possible to keep that love tank full, and to raise a loving and confident family.